Pubic hair grooming has come a long way, baby. There was a time not so long ago (as evidenced by our father’s Playboy collections), when pubic hair was low-maintenance. Aside from a few cultures–such as Islamic societies where pubic hair removal is encouraged for religious reasons–pubic grooming was unknown to the world at large for most of human history.
The ancient Egyptians depicted pubic hair in their art as simple black triangles. They were unique in this attitude towards our fuzzy friends down south. Most classical art, especially works depicting female nudes, omits all body hair below the neck. This taboo was occasionally broken to show male pubic hair, though often it appeared in stylized form. When Gustave Courbet painted L’Origine du Monde its rendering of exposed vulva, complete with thick pubic thatch, was considered pornographic.
This cultural censorship proved confusing for some young men of the time. Famed author, artist, and critic John Ruskin (1819-1900) fled in horror from his blushing bride Effie on the night of their honeymoon. His biographer, Mary Luytens, wrote that Ruskin, knowing the nude female form only from classical art, was horrified and disgusted at the sight of her pubic hair. Ruskin’s marriage lasted for six years (without consummation) before it was annulled. One of the reasons given during the proceedings was that although he considered her face to be beautiful, he found her repugnant. Ruskin said “Her person was not formed to excite passion; On the contrary there were certain circumstances in her person which completely checked it.”
In these contemporary times an entire sub-culture has formed around the art and science of pubic grooming, complete with its own jargon. Now the modern human being (let’s not leave men out, we’re trimming now too) has several styles to choose from when taming the bush. They all have their own terms which are now firmly embedded in popular culture.
Pubic Hair Styling 101
- Natural- As God made you.
- Trimmed- Shortened, but otherwise untouched.
- Triangle- Hair removed from the sides, leaving a tidy triangle that won’t show while wearing a swimsuit.
- Landing strip- Most hair removed, leaving only a long, thin strip.
- Brazilian- Completely removed except for a small strip, about an inch wide, centered above the vulva.
- Full Brazilian- Completely bare, just like a classical painting.
- Shaped- The fun stuff. This variation on the Brazilian leaves a patch of hair in the shape of a heart, a star, or whatever your creative heart desires.
This covers all the options…or does it?
A few years ago, Nancy Jarecki noticed something odd while waiting her turn in an Italian hair salon. Some of the other customers, rather than leaving, would linger by the door. Shortly, their stylist would appear and hand them a small brown paper bag before sending them on their way. Nancy was intrigued, and asked her stylist the meaning of this little ritual. “For the hair down there,” the stylist replied, “To make it match.”
Knowing there was no such product on the market in America, Nancy grabbed the idea and ran with it upon her return. After consulting salon-owners and gynecologists back in New York City, she spent two years working with a manufacturer to perfect a product that would fulfill this previously unsatisfied need. Bettybeauty‘s line of betty products was soon released into the hands of an eager public, accompanied by fun and quirky tag lines like ‘Color for the hair down there(TM)’ and ‘Get your betty ready’. The next evolution in pubic grooming had arrived.
The betty line of dyes for your delicates contain natural ingredients and are formulated to be gentle enough for use in this region. They’re non-drip, and the box contains enough dye for up to three applications. They even work well for covering any gray you may have cropping up down below. Currently, Bettybeauty offers betty products in brown, blonde, black, and auburn. Then there is my personal favorite–the pinnacle of the pubic grooming (r)evolution: FUNbetty(TM). FUNbetty(TM) will render your ‘betty’ a playful and alluring hot pink. For Valentine’s Day this year, Bettybeauty offered a heart-shaped stencil as a free gift when buying a box of FUNbetty(TM). Brilliant! According to the Bettybeauty website, we can look forward to new colors (bright red, green, lilac, and blue) and accessories (stencils and glitter) in the near future.
The well-worn phrase ‘Does the carpet match the drapes?’ sums up what used to be the tell-tale sign of an unnatural hair color. It’s old and tired now. Ready for its gold watch, folks. Bettybeauty has given humankind the gift of color coordination… even if your drapes are pink.
DJ Burnett is an Author and Freelance Writer based in Fryburg, Pennsylvania. His first novel, ‘Alacrity In Sinking’ will be available online and in bookstores soon. Any questions or comments can be directed to DJ at email@example.com .
FUNbetty and ‘Color for the hair down there’ are registered trademarks of Bettybeauty, Inc. Used with permission.
© Copyright 2007 by DJ Burnett, All Rights Reserved